hiatus.

i'm sure i'm deeply missed.
*hiakhiakhiak

woke up at 0459hrs with a bleeding nose.thought it was e case of a sensitive nose again n thought i felt mucus but no..blood rushed out frm e right nostril so profusely i almost fainted at e sight of e amt of blood i lost.and ive got low blood pressure too.feeling faint is such a norm for me.didnt stop till much much later.mom's getting panicky over this.ssh.shall not tell her tt e nose bled again this morning or she'll so freak out.

went out with gayle on sat.my ever so darling gaga.she's such a hottie!*hothothot.havent met n spoken to gayle for e longest time.and during her absence ive always had recurring dreams of her.and she's been having dreams of me too!shows how much we missed each other's silly company.it feels really good to go out with her again n have so much fun n laughters just like those days in cj.we basically laughed e entire day at e stupidest things.ate so much e whole damn day cos gayle's such a bottomless pit.oh yeah beef noodles to her was just a snack.eeck!went for drinks at the bar@mezza9.oh boy such a lovely place.i cld totally picture myself going there more often.for a taitai like me.aircon was blasting.cld have well been at negative celcius but beer kept us warm.i wld so wanna eat at mezza9..soonsoon.slurps.salivating at e thought of e yummy crabs tt they serve.
went for e mango sale as well n i'm so glad i've gotten good buys despite e maddening crowd.bought nice black capris pants,lime green halter n a simple black sleeveless top n all i spent was 44bucks.cheapcheapcheap.hehe adding on to e recent acquisitons,ie,e guess bag tt my sweetest bought for me(which i absolutely adore to e core),my white mango pants n pink zara top which he kindly sponsored too.yesyes ive finally broken out frm my black/white wardrobe.wheee with glee.back to gayle.oh yes.i'm so proud of her for making thru e 1st two rounds for e SIA interview.i can so picture my gayle in an ohsosexy skin-hugging kebaya.ohh sizzling hot!am crossing my fingers for her for e final round.really happy tt things are looking so gloriously fine for her.living e high life tt i so desire n lust after,ie,doing runways n shows for e chichi brands such as chanel,lancome,blahblah..so glam!i'm truly happy for my gayle.she deserves her happiness tt she's enjoying now.

all i need to get before sch starts is a new sch bag n legal slippers.meaning..with heel straps.i'm jealous tt van has already bought her samba-adidas already!i also want!sch's starting next mon.frm then on leng will constantly be in my presence once again.yay cant wait!another reason for me to go to sch for.lengleng we must go shop for bags soon!and oh yeah before i forget..dye hair together.fix a date soon for me!

latest obsession:e filth of wealth
i crave for all e malevolent pleasures tt e dirt of riches can bring.
such decadent happiness.
i'm materialistic
i'm realistic
i'm plastic
i'm s'porean.
see e link?

woke up this morning at 0934hrs by a phonecall frm him.
me with grosse morning croak:"hello..."
him:"are you sleeping?"
me"mmm..."
him:"just called to say i love you."

what a pleasant start to a beautiful day.
e past wk has been frustrating for both
but we're happy now.
and that's all that matters.

this will come a day early but
happy birthday to my beloved lovelovelove of my life alvina chang!
i love my alvi so so so much that i find it hard to explain e intensity of how much i love n cherish this beautiful frienship i have with this beautiful girl.
hey sweetest,hope u'll enjoy your special day.such a pity that you wont be coming bk to spore in july cos i'm just dying to see you.to spend time with you.to have supper with you at imans.swim n suntan at e ulu-ated serangoon swimming complex.to bitch with you in person.to feel your hugs again.to see your pouts(e nobody-loves-me-pout that i've now mastered with perfection) n hear your whines.i dont even mind e second hand smoke that i inhale.you're an absolute darling.always giving me sound advices,you taught me not to be so self absorbed with my side of e story but to understand e other's pt of view.and that if we do something bad,we'll have retributions.you cry with me when i cry.laugh when i laugh.scold me when i'm bad.praise me when i'm good.i want to grow old with you..and this friendship to last as long as we live.i want to zoom ard town in your black audiA4 n you to be my passenger in my lexusSC430.to experience childbirth n menopauses together and moan groan over greying hairs n disobedient husbands n children.this is getting farfetched but you get e drift.
*you make me a better person.and a better friend to love you with.iloveyou.with all my heart n all of me.

i'm hungry.craving for durian,bubble tea,yoshinoya's beef bowl,oreo cheesecake,chompchomp's stingray(which is simply orgasmic!),durian,my century egg n sliced fish porridge frm crystal jade,xiao long bao(!!!) frm anywhere as long there's soupy surprise.i need food..just tried twisties's new flavour-thai tom yam n it sucks.don't try it.

i'm really not fated to watch shrek2 e legal way i suppose.sillybaby n i really wanted to watch this since how long ago but nv had e time to.used starhub's info services to find out e movie listings n it stated tt shrek2 wld be showin at 1715,1925,2145 n 0000hrs at bishan's golden village today.and it was only when i reached there requesting for shrek2's tix n e guy asked u mean for tmr's show?i was like what e fcuk!he showed me e proper listings n shrek2 was only shown at 1030 n 1300hrs today.ok shall resort to watchin it e illegal way then.bah.

advice:never disregard your dreams.they are significant.backtrack n rewind:i dreamt tt sillybaby n i were gettin married on 8th june.dream analysis stated to dream of a marriage=an end in something.true enough.we had another misunderstanding on 8th june.damn this date.i walked out on him.walked outta his hse.all cos of a comment he said which he meant as a joke but i apparently didnt receive it tt way.and instead of holdin me bk n assuring me it was a joke,he opened e door for me n ushered me out.so he wasnt feelin well n needed time alone but hello..i cancelled my plans for him just cos he wanted to see me.so we almost broke up.again.once again my feelings werent considered.but no worries.i've had a distraction as a backup.not like i enjoyed myself with distraction either.but at least i didnt have time to dwell in my misery.felt better when he called to check on me.bah.
i'm fine without you too.
not tt fine but fine enough.
but i still need you.and want you.and love you.
and you're mine.
mine alone.
noone else's.

i'm angry!*curses n swears.tt bitchslut msged him on friendster tellin him tt she dreamt of him.arghhh like we're so fcuking interested.and it's not e first time tt she's doing this!!how i wish she was tt cockroach..and i cld smash her into pieces.really.tts what i wanna do to her.smash smash smash with all my might n spray tons of pesticide on tt bitchslut till disfiguration cant carry on any further.BE GONE with bygone!

*birthday pics are up.

at huey's hse studying for stats supps.blech.e mood just aint here.concentation's low but i absolutely mustmustmust buck e fcuk up.just had a screaming n shrieks rampage a while ago.over e ugliest cockroach ever!who was out deliberately to scare e wits outta me.got me so incredibly frightened that i flew rite onto huey's table n shrieked n screamed till my throat ran sore.how scared was i?i shivered at e sight of tt fcuking ugly thing that shouldnt even be allowed of its existence.thank goodness it was smashed to eventual slow n painful death.it was well deserved.burn in hell cockroach!have a roastin gd time.bah.

thanks to all who sent me their birthday wishes.to receive wishes frm e near n dear makes me feel more loved than ever.and to hear frm e far but not forgotten gives me deeper delights knowing tt they still remember my birthday.

and of cos,huge thanks n greatest love going out to those who celebrated my birthday with me.*muahmuahmuah.
cillia,elise n van on wed @zouk.
girls' night out is always e bestest.though a leech creeped along n almost threatened to spoil e fun n my mood n didnt realise he's sticky icky.cillia,we know who.*winks.lets just forgive n forget.afterall leech is a friend of mine.

susan,huey,colin n eileen on thurs.
e bestest bestest surprise i ever had.i absolutely lovelovelove surprises!1st surprise:susan rented a car..for my birthday!gosh tt's like how exciting.my 1st female driver friend.oohwee.so she drove by,fulfilling her promise for making me her first passenger.was supposed to only go for a spin but to my absolute horror, we drove to town cos i had to pop by my shop.so i went to town in *gasps*:IJ Fiesta 98 tshirt, cjc PE shorts, my adidas cap n *heavyheavy gasps* my nerdy glasses!yikes!tts like sooo incredibly ugly to e maxmaxmax!yuckyuckyuck.my ugliest ever.zero makeup too.yucks!thank gawd i didnt see anyone familiar.not tt i cld..had my eyes on e grd most of e time.went hm to chg n 2nd surprise came:tt huey came bk to spore just in time to celebrate my birthday with me.dinner was at e mouth kitchen at west mall.drove ard to nowhere after dinner n went to esplanade.just in time for 3rd surprise..a birthday cake for me at e stroke of midnight.awww.so shweet.decided to buy drinks after tt but heyho 7-11 doesnt sell alcohol after 1am so we bought beer at amk's s-11.(i've got beer belly now..joon has a tummy.)drove to bishan park and tt was where i learnt how to drive n I DROVE!for e 1st time.and it was damn exciting n stressful at e same time.i was a bundle of nerves behind e wheel!fastest i went was only 30km/h n i kept braking hard so everyone enjoyed hard jerks of e car,all thanks to me.also learnt how to reverse n basically e basics.i think i'd prefer to be a perpetual passenger for now..n make any car look gd.

tricia,darryl(my niece n nephew),huey n susan-fri noon
sillybaby-fri n sat
so happy to see e 2 cuties.tricia n darryl i mean.:)susan drove by n we went to macs for brunch.with e kids.each n every time i'm with them,my maternal instinct oozes out frm every pore.i so wanna have children next time.1 boy n 1 girl n tt's enough.after brunch n after e kids had their ice-cream,we dropped them off at my place n drove to geylang for yummy durian.yum!went bk hm to play playstation with darryl n tricia,fed them dinner,bathed them(i'm so ready to be a mom!) n met my sillybaby for dinner.had dinner at swensens.headed bk to his place cos he was damn tired.ended up having a bitching session with him n his sister.hiakhiakhiak bitching abt his exs..sensual treats for my ears.such pleasures tt i absolutely lovelovelove n lustlustlust after.am so easily satisfied.i want more i want more!
sillybaby is a selfish sleeper.

each time u ask me why i chose u over e rest
why iloveu
i'll choke on my reply
simply because i cant seem to point out a particular reason to explain e intensity of e feelings tt i have for u.
a fluttering social butterfly u are not-which is why i'm so comfortable with u.
a security n stability i seek in u which i somehow cant provide.
or is it because
u've seen me at my ugliest
both inside n out
and still accept me for me.
maybe u know me too well
better than i know myself
more than what i chose to reveal.
naked n exposed.
and u cld still accept me for me
...
in e end
i coughed out something stupid.
so incredibly stupid
...
shall just keep my mouth shut e next time ard.
shut u up with kisses.
and have a pillow fight.
i will win e next time round.