major malfunctioning.
e fucking left eyelid's been twitching non stop.
and that's supposed to be ultra bad luck.
checked with oldwivestales.com and they confirmed my fears.
it's bad.

fuck it.

no thanks to you for making me feel worse.
you know what?
i've got others who're more than eager to have me ard.
once and again,
you give me every reason not to feel e guilt.
do a cleaner job next time yeah.
make sure i cant find anything to your disadvantage.
and dont leave behind evidences of your wrongdoings.
make sure i don't find out.
but i did.
you know,
it'd have been much much better if i hadn't found out anything at all, thank you very much.
i'm feeling sick rite now
and i know just who to find to make me feel better.
you made me do this.
you make me sick.
sicker than before.
sicker than i've ever been.
sickening shit.

i'll bring you on a guilt trip.
starting frm rite now.
enjoy e ride.

i'm high maintenance and uneasy to satisfy.
i expect n demand too much and nothing is ever good enough for me.
i'm selfish when my perception of myself all along was selflessness.
i thought i've been endlessly giving when all i've done was shameless reception.
i compare too much without realising tt e value in you is far beyond any comparison.
i'm far frm perfect even as i think i'm millimetres away frm perfection.
i'm petty despite my graciousness.
i pick on your faults in order to divert attention away frm mine.
i overestimate my credentials.
and as you continue being with me,
knowing me on a much deeper level,
peeling off e layers of pretenses n feigned perfections that are losing its worth,
what you may discover is hideous.
and that really is who i am.
a bestial bitch that reeks of poison n bites too much.
an unsightly ugliness.

pls back out frm this union before further deformation takes place.
before it's too late.
you have every reason not to be with me.
i failed to realise e good intent in all tt you did.
was blind to your needs as all that was in view was mine.
i do not blame you if you were to ever regret this.
you probably deserve better.
i do not deserve your tolerance and patience.
do not put up with me any longer
because i am a waste of time.

this is what you get for knowing me too well.

before=long hair (ooh i so love this dior watch..*lusting..)


after=short hair

e new hairdo.so different frm my before isnt it?!snipped to destruction at klear cuts.not meant as publicity but more like a note of caution.go forth at your own risk.you've been warned!
e hair only looked like that once and only lasted for a few minutes.my hairdresser lied to me.shant call her a bitch cos she didnt do anything bad to me.ruined my hair only mah it's ok one.yeah she lied cos when i asked her whether it wld be diffy to style n maintain,she said'oh very easy'.easy my plasmatic ass ah.it took me an average of 1hr minimum to style e hair of mine.it's just so layered n stubborn,i flare at my reflection."who is that monster i see..staring strt back at me..why does my reflection show someone i am not..?!"i pang for my long hair.come back to me *sobsobsob or rather grow faster!boohoo.now wax is my new bestie.it salvaged me frm looking like shyte.i've been using so much wax to style e hair,you can burn me like a candle.but all's fine now,i guess.torturous damage n demonic turmoil of e mind n esp e hair are temporarily halted as i've rediscovered e usefulness of hairpins.so now everything's pinned up n tied in a perk lil bunnytail(bun+ponytail).so much for spending 36bucks for my desire to chg my look.well i'm pretty pleased with my long bangs though.they're kinda cute.my brother says i look like a doll.haha chucky's wife has resurrected hiakhiakhiak!

i feel like such a housewife now.except tt i'm not doing any housework,am alone in his hse n awaiting his return.he picked me up frm sch after 12.watched designer guys n days of our lives n he left for sch soon after.rite before he left i said this:
me:"darling you shd leave for sch now."
him:"yeah ok."
me(adjusting his shirt):"drive safe.be back for dinner.remember to pick e kids up frm sch yeah."
*hurhurhur.me n my wacked up role playing.
his room is a friggin walk in freezer.freezing my white mng pants off in here!maybe tt's cos i'm decked in all white today(i'm livin' it up to my surname),with my two dollar fifty cents pashmina white shawl(!) drapped over e shoulders tt are losing its tan.brrr.

annoyed!e ugly picture of an indian woman tt my sweetest shit of a darling posted on my friendster as a primary pic refuses to be deleted!it's haunting me!and by e way it isnt funny at all in case you're roaring with laughter rite now.go catch a glimpse of it if you still have a chance to.to counter attack my baby's childish prank,i forced him to put a picture of a fat indian man as his primary pic so more wld recognise us as a couple.*hiakhiakhiak.now tt's funny.

ooh lets run a poll here.
puke out your comments regarding e hair.
lets see whos for e before or e after of e sad snip.
*enjoy.ta.

amazing race last nite was intensely exhilerating!but it aint tt fun anymore cos my amazing race 'partner' isnt ard with me to lay bets n to discuss e game politics with.and of cos,hopping on e imaginary carpet at whichever destination n imagining e host whose-name-i-forgot saying, "shane n june.you're e first team to arrive".amazing race aint e same anymore.sigh.*missmiss.

newest obsession:e obsene amt of weight tt i've been putting on.
and physical perfection.
superficialities satisfies.
my fatboy poked e tummy of mine n said:'darling you really did put on weight.'
yeah uh.thats what i get for being with a plus sized darling who feeds me tons!and i always look small n petitey next to him.i'll never really know how much weight i've put on till e tummy pops.

i've cut my 1mth-short-of-a-yr-long hair already.sorry to cillia,elaine n elise whom i've sorta arranged to go cut hair with.but i just couldnt stand e hair anymore and i just had to snip it all off!well not all but most of it.e long hair is gone.gone.GONE.GONE!it's a totally different look altogther n i'm trying really hard to get used to e monster-with-shorthair-and-shortfringe in e mirror.e new 'do aint tt bad.it's different.i look different.i kinda miss e long hair now.e steamingly sexy,just-outta-e-bed look.damnation.it's a love/hate relationship with e hair.e only joy i derive frm haircuts are e head n neck massages i get frm e shampooers.today i had a shampoo boy.and i can say he's pretty good with his hands.*hiakhiakhiak.

new haircut.new beginning.begin what?what's to end?
it's been 2yrs since that.

fuck it.
e DIY dye job turned out damn fucking bad.
fuck.