"..seems what you say is true, i feel e same way too
see i've waited all night long, just to dance with you
and when you touched my hand, i knew you were e man
to turn my world around, and make my dreams come true
e magic in your eyes, made me realize
that everything i feel, has got to be real
we danced and fell in love,
on a slow jam.

play another slow jam,
this time make it sweet.
on a slow jam,
for my baby
and for me.

i've been trying find someone who
i could give my good loving to
never ever did i dream i'd find someone
i've been trying to find someone too
i prayed to heaven, and then i found you
i swear i fell in love the night you
danced into my heart..."

slow jam-usher n monica

cant stop listening to slow jam.
such a beautiful duet.
swoons.
my ultimate fantasy is to dance with tt special someone to slow jam.
he doesnt have to be e king of swings or master of grooves.
i dont even care if he has zero coordination when it comes to dancing.
i just want to place my head on his shoulders
and feel e pressure of his head resting on mine.
as he wraps me in a warm embrace
with hands ard my waist where i love it best.
my hands ard his neck
my fingers running thru his hair.
his fingers stroking my hair
his touch sending tingles down my back.
so totally immersed in this sheer smoothness of e song,
we sway ever so gently to e tenderness of this tune.
to be able to feel his breath on mine
brings me to an incredible emotional high.
i'll get so lost in him
i dont ever want to be found..

gosh im getting so carried away with my fatal fantasizing.
but even as i'm picturing that very moment,
i feel this overwhelming rush of warmth n anticipation,
as if this was going to happen soon.
not with him.
it never was.
but with someone new
someone special.
and i dont even know who that is.
i wish i knew but damn it's a blurred image.
perhaps it's best not to know.
till e day you've found me
i'll know it's you that i've been expecting when i feel this indescribable warmth that you're already providing me with,
as if assuring me that you've been with me all these time while i was lost in ignorance.

oh but what e hell.
not like you exist anyway.
pui.

sprouting nonsense is an evident indication when one is high on exhaustion.
wasted.
zzz.

compensation is e word of the year.
e word i'm gonna adhere to frm now on.
you can wrong me in any manner you wish.
you can use me
abuse me.
ill treat or cheat.
stray and betray.
but e least i shd receive is some compensation.
have yet to be compensated all these yrs.
even after i've given my all
scraped e walls of my heart,just to provide you with what i've already given.
perhaps you're just e one and only remaining hopeless case.
you can say i've given up on you.
e only person in your life who evens bothers abt you
will leave for good.
pains me to know that even after 2yrs,u still dont know me at all.
if it's only till i'm gone
then you'll realise my value n absolute devotion that was once in abundance,
i'm pleased to announce
that i cant wait to see you crave in desperation.

e day's finally gonna be over n done with.
nv had any expectations of what e day wld turn out to be.
just a simple affair.
yet i dont know why there's so much displeasure raging thru me.
day started off pretty well when he picked me up frm home just to send me to sch.
and he was tired frm work e day before.
after my test he picked me up frm sch n went to his place.
then he cooked for me.
i cld really see e effort put in.
like e hand squeezed orange juice.
e fish n chips.
e steamed asparagus.
but i dont know why i cant seem to appreciate it.
i do actually..but not extensive.
like perhaps i expected more?
material wise?
i cant seem to figure out.
i cant seem to figure out what is it i'm so displeased abt.
i cant seem to figure out what is it that i exactly want frm him.
maybe i'm not so satisfied with simplicity anymore.
no more satisfaction.

i'm hating this.
best part of it is that i dont even know what this is.
but pretty soon i'll be back to normality again.

and that wld be...?

i've revamped!
no more naked mermaid.
no more pinks.
no more pale prints.
e technology idiot has emerged frm her cave.
so hows e new look?
puke out your thoughts n share 'em with me.

we're celebrating vday for e first time.
he wanted fine dining
but i decided agst it.
it's just another saturday.
just another day.
no big deal.
his company is all tt matters.
even if we were to dine at a hawker center
having mee hoon kuay n milo ping
i'd be satisfied.

another week has come and almost gone.
cant wait for survivor all stars tonight!rob mariano=e one in cute red board berms=e construction worker=e most yummilicious man ever on survivor.plus he's such a bad boy.oooh lovely.i like.make it i LOVE.i love taming naughty boys like him.he's such a feast to e eyes.i melt each n every time i see him.most of e time i'm mentally stripping him..he's already half naked anyway so tt makes my job a lil easier.:) leave me alone now.shall let my fatal fantasies flood my mind for now.tingles.

it's lovely
knowing that you're still making me smile at e lil actions that you do.
may have been small n insignificant
but i may just be bursting with joy.
yet i know not to elevate my elations
anticipating when you'll burst this beautiful bubble that you blew for me.
for now
i'll just fly till where this bubble mite carry me

hopefully next to you.

pls give me
someone to love
someone to touch
someone to hold
someone to know

pls let it be you.

"..if i never feel you in my arms again
if i never feel your tender kiss again
if i never hear I love you now and then
will i never make love to you once again
please understand if love ends
then i promise you, i promise you
that, that i shall never breathe again.."

listening to:breathe again- toni braxton
mood: mellon-cholic

shit.am beginning to feel needy again.is it cos my period's coming?ha irrelevance.
e weeks's been pretty pleasant.been spending quite some time together with him.seeing each other quite a bit.all at once,i feel that i dont want any other distractions in my life.i dont anyone else 'cept him.oh no not good.
shall keep on dreaming
such fatal fantasies.

you're dangerous
i'm lovin' it.