Monday, December 20

everythingisntgoingright


sothiswillbetheendforgoodihavehadenoughofyoutheresonlyhowmuc
hicanputuphowmuchicandoandimfullyutilizedbrutilizedallthesewhil
eithoughtwhatwehadcouldbesalvagednotherelationshipwasntlackin
ganythingnoitsnotbecausemymethodsofbeingyourgirlfriendareunco
nventionalandnoitsnotbecausewedontspendenoughtimetogetherise
eitallsoclearlynowthattheproblemdoesntliewithmeanymorethereas
onthatyougavemeonfridaywasthebestandthemostridiculousyetiseei
tallsoclearlynowandimsocertainthativemadetherightchoicethistimer
oundbecauseifidontputafullstoptothisthiswholeviciouscycleisgonnare
peatiamnotbenefittinganythingfromthisandijustdontwanttobeconsta
ntlylosingoutanymoreandwhilstimoveonsoperfectlywithoutyoupicki
ngmyselfuplivingmylifewithoutyourinterferenceyoucomecrawlingba
cktomesayingthatyouneedmethatyoumissmethatyouwantmebackag
ainyouhavetorealizethatiamnotwhatyouneedyouneedapillarofsuppor
tivebeenatyourconstantbeckandcallandyouwerebeginningtoabuseth
epowersandtakingthemforgrantedtherewillbenomorethisicanensure
ifallittakesismyhabittomakepplhappymakeppllaughtomakeyouwant
toendthisiamsadtosaythisisfinalnomatterhowhardyouapologizedafte
rwardsblamingyourbadmoodfortheearlieroutbursticantletitgoletitpa
ssicantforgetthatitdidnthappencosiknowyoureboundtogivemethesa
meshitonceandagainiknownowyourenotwhatineediknownowiamnot
whatyouwantyouhavebeenexpectingwaytoomuchfrmmeexpectingm
etobeperfectwhenyouresofarfrmitihavemyflawsbutyouvegotmoreic
anchangebutyourenotwillingtosoiknowwhatmyvalueistoyouhowimp
ortantihadbeentoyouhowmuchtherelationshipmatteredtoyouicantco
ntinuewiththiscontinuewithyoucontinuewithyourconstantinconsiste
ncyicantkeepupidontwishtofurtherunderstandyouihavenointerestin
whateveryoudomaybeistilldobutitsbestthatiremaincluelessabtyourli
fenonethelessnotknowingisthebestrememdyicldconjureatemomenti
hadwishedforthebestbuthtebestwillneverbeourslettingthisgocldposs
iblybethebestdecisionwearedoingforourselvesdontbeunfairtoeachoth
eranylongerdontwastemytimetheprimehasyettobereachedandiknow
iamcapableofbetteryouwerealearningexperienceiamlearntandnowih
avetogo



tomakethingsworse


ilostmynokia7200yesivelosttwophonestwosimcardsoverthespanoftw
oweekstwosaturdayshowextremelywretchedandicantbelievethisisha
ppeningtomeithinktomyselfwhatcldpossiblebetheworstthatcldeverha
ppenthisisjustsofuckedupfuckedbeyondimaginableandimjustsodraine
dsotiredsodecayedweariedimhavinghteworstchristmaseverihatechri
tmashateseeingeveryonesohappysojollysomerryarghimhatingallofthe
seiamthekilljoysodonotstopmefromdestructinghappinessbecausedest
royimust