everythingisntgoingright


sothiswillbetheendforgoodihavehadenoughofyoutheresonlyhowmuc
hicanputuphowmuchicandoandimfullyutilizedbrutilizedallthesewhil
eithoughtwhatwehadcouldbesalvagednotherelationshipwasntlackin
ganythingnoitsnotbecausemymethodsofbeingyourgirlfriendareunco
nventionalandnoitsnotbecausewedontspendenoughtimetogetherise
eitallsoclearlynowthattheproblemdoesntliewithmeanymorethereas
onthatyougavemeonfridaywasthebestandthemostridiculousyetiseei
tallsoclearlynowandimsocertainthativemadetherightchoicethistimer
oundbecauseifidontputafullstoptothisthiswholeviciouscycleisgonnare
peatiamnotbenefittinganythingfromthisandijustdontwanttobeconsta
ntlylosingoutanymoreandwhilstimoveonsoperfectlywithoutyoupicki
ngmyselfuplivingmylifewithoutyourinterferenceyoucomecrawlingba
cktomesayingthatyouneedmethatyoumissmethatyouwantmebackag
ainyouhavetorealizethatiamnotwhatyouneedyouneedapillarofsuppor
tivebeenatyourconstantbeckandcallandyouwerebeginningtoabuseth
epowersandtakingthemforgrantedtherewillbenomorethisicanensure
ifallittakesismyhabittomakepplhappymakeppllaughtomakeyouwant
toendthisiamsadtosaythisisfinalnomatterhowhardyouapologizedafte
rwardsblamingyourbadmoodfortheearlieroutbursticantletitgoletitpa
ssicantforgetthatitdidnthappencosiknowyoureboundtogivemethesa
meshitonceandagainiknownowyourenotwhatineediknownowiamnot
whatyouwantyouhavebeenexpectingwaytoomuchfrmmeexpectingm
etobeperfectwhenyouresofarfrmitihavemyflawsbutyouvegotmoreic
anchangebutyourenotwillingtosoiknowwhatmyvalueistoyouhowimp
ortantihadbeentoyouhowmuchtherelationshipmatteredtoyouicantco
ntinuewiththiscontinuewithyoucontinuewithyourconstantinconsiste
ncyicantkeepupidontwishtofurtherunderstandyouihavenointerestin
whateveryoudomaybeistilldobutitsbestthatiremaincluelessabtyourli
fenonethelessnotknowingisthebestrememdyicldconjureatemomenti
hadwishedforthebestbuthtebestwillneverbeourslettingthisgocldposs
iblybethebestdecisionwearedoingforourselvesdontbeunfairtoeachoth
eranylongerdontwastemytimetheprimehasyettobereachedandiknow
iamcapableofbetteryouwerealearningexperienceiamlearntandnowih
avetogo



tomakethingsworse


ilostmynokia7200yesivelosttwophonestwosimcardsoverthespanoftw
oweekstwosaturdayshowextremelywretchedandicantbelievethisisha
ppeningtomeithinktomyselfwhatcldpossiblebetheworstthatcldeverha
ppenthisisjustsofuckedupfuckedbeyondimaginableandimjustsodraine
dsotiredsodecayedweariedimhavinghteworstchristmaseverihatechri
tmashateseeingeveryonesohappysojollysomerryarghimhatingallofthe
seiamthekilljoysodonotstopmefromdestructinghappinessbecausedest
royimust

i don't know.
i don't know you.
i don't know who you are.
i don't know who you are to me.
i don't know who i am to you.
i don't know what you want.
i don't know what you want from me.
i don't know what you want me to be.
i don't know where to begin.
i don't know where to halt.
i don't know where we shd go frm here.
i don't know where we'll end up.


i don't know much.
but i know enough to not know much.


i'm thirsty and hungry.
i'm starving and dehydrated.
and i just fell down and grazed my knee.
my clinique happy smells gd.
i smell gd.
come forth and take a sniff?
prove me wrong and tell me i stink.

attention!


to all who possess my mobile munber,pls msg me your numbers again cos i've lost all my contacts due to e loss of my phone at zoukout/loss of my sim card as well/loss of king's samsung actually/lost not cos i misplaced it but cos some fuckedupbitch pickpocketed it right out frm my pocket(!!!)/demise of my nokia on e same mother-of-all-jinxed night/due to e seabreeze at tanjong beach which corroded e phone due to e atmospheric presence of water/just got a sim card replacement/just got my sexy 7200/contactable again after being phoneless for 5 days.
appreciations aplenty.


yesterday was a day where humiliation and dramatism were photogenic.i so love it when words makes so much sense that it makes no sense at all.


i've been such a selfish bitch that you've have been totally neglected.
and i'm gonna change for e better.for you.for you to be happy.for you to be happy with me.

zoukout-e virgin experience.
*pictures


paul van dyk!e way he holds e earphones to his ears n stimulating e crowd with his fingers-*sizzle.what a turn-on.his fingers are such wonders.
he was e only highlight of my night.
how i embrace trance now.
e virgin experience came with e loss.
which led to my hysterical and,yesyes i admit,overlyreacted outbursts into wails n whimpers.
to all who had to put up with me,sorry for being a spoiler.
other than that, e virgin experience was good.


drinking at alleybar-whence alvi returned.
*pictures


appalled.alley bar has since implemented an age limit.
but i still love e ambience of e place when it isnt crowded.
e frozen lychee margarita is yums.e lychee is still my favorite part of e drink though.


i selfcomposed a punkrock song in my dream last nite.which i have to admit was quite a headbanger.i've forgotten how e tune goes.but it's by an allguy band called "killed left lip".and the last line of e chorus went like this.."i'm smart only with my penis on.."
i wanna be a drummerchick.