i've got strong bones.
calcium in e bones.no worries bout osteoporosis.
milk it.
last night my entire palm was slammed clammed by e car door and it's still intact.
joreen's impact.
best of all, e car door actually shut tight.
with my hand in between.
awesom-O.
no bleeding. no broken bones.
just a protruding vein n a swelling cushion on e palm,
which in accordance to e palmistry book, reflects wealth.
just reminds me of how my leg slipped in to e hole in between e train n e platform 4yrs back.
and how my primary concern at that pt of time was not losing grip of my brand new jinxed sandals.
and how my bruise was blackish blue and how i pride having to encounter such an accident which SMRT wld prolly bribe my mouth shut frm e media.
and my only response to both e pain was laughing uncontrollably.
perhaps e pain triggered me off into a strangely unexplainable laughing misfit.
come to think of it, 'twas really hilarioushaha.


pain pleasures me

more birthday shoutouts n screamins.
happy birthday to....


elaine (22/9)

to e one on e right,(what an awesom-O pic i must say)
yingying, my graffiti guru with meenared mannerisms. so very special to me.
so blessed to have you in my life.
appreciate all you've done for me.
thank you for not forsaking me thru e yrs.


lily(24/9)

oh gosh this is such an ancient picture but this is e only one that i can get hold of with us in it.
those were e days werent they?
i love you lily dear.
happy 'stewardessing'.
you know what i mean. *winks.


wen(24/9)

'grandson' of khong guan.
do brush up n learn more ah-du songs yeah. ktving isnt all that exciting if we were to bang our heads to sum41's fat lip all e time.
more sultana biscuits when you return?
will nv forget you offering me a hand when i slipped n fell at castle green's gents after sneaking in for a suana.
will try to forget you laughing so damn loud while offering your act of kindness.


so manymany september babies.
and of cos, all pics above were specially chosen cos i look good in them.

Happy 19th Birthday my beloved Vanessa Cheryl Woo Shufen my baby waby.
i love you sweets and always will.
so glad that you enjoyed e surprise party that we had for you though you were pissed with me for a mo'.
anything at e expense of building up e ultimate climax for you.
willing to do aything for you baby.
still lovin' you even though you n leng spiked my soup with an extra dosage of tom yam paste.
still lovin' you even you didnt wear e party hat that leng n i made for you.
still lovin' you even though my birthday present which comes in e form of a white tube is still with you.
damn. if only we had time to play 'pin-e-tail-on-e-donkey' n drink our sparkling wine.
but nonetheless, e smile on your face made all efforts worth while.
many many many many many many many more birthday celebrations n surprise parties to come.
this i know for a fact.
i love you.

please, for hell's sake, be original.
i've been itching to get this out of me
and today my displeasures abt you will erupt
and i'll spit it right on your face.
i may be sourpussing for awhile.
but you're a FAKE and you have to live with that for e rest of your downtrodden life.
i feel shameful of your existence really.
a little extractions, here n there, to emphasize your pt is fine with me.
but to e extend of adopting my lingo as your own,
imitating my habits, my behavior, my mannerism, my style
whatever that distincts me n makes me special,
sickens me to a great extend.
it's blatant that you're perpetually altering your persona to be someone you're not.
trying oh so hard to be impressive, impressionable, imperial but my dear, i can see thru your veneers.
underneath it all, you're still e blase person that you are and you cant possibly deny your nature.
try as you might.
you wont make it big as a somebody or someone worth remembering.
you are easily forgotten.
a person void of substance.
essence so bland, yawn, what did you say again?
pay a price for your pathetic plagiarism.
but you cant afford it so i shall just forget abt it.
i feel sorry for you.
sympathize you.
look down upon you.
you're getting on my fucking nerves
and thats it. it's e end.
i'm plucking you out of my system. for good. forever.
don't hear frm me any longer.

hot. e weather i mean.



upandcoming postergirl for sports unillustrated.



i love me babies!



leng looks like a dragon here.rrrrr.



tanning on tues.
pics kindly abstracted frm vannie baby's camera. which was happily hogged by me.
e sun was glorious as usual. my back's tanner than my front and so is van's. leng developed a weird rash after showering with my shokobutsu.
soaking up e sun was good. but soaking up e sun with my darlingest girls n lunching at our table no 155 at seah im hawker centre makes june e happiest girl ever.




wed nite. in e cab to zouk.


oooh yeah dancin' in september.
as compared to newsroombar last sat which was such a farfarfar cry, whereby e music and crowd were blech n boring, mamboing was great after a 3mth hiatus.
liquer flowed aplenty.
and it was especially joyous when i had an extra lychee in my lychee martini.
when hot n sticky was stickier than usual.
when e samoka shot inflammed e tongue.
when e company i was with dizzied me up with happiness.
drunk talkin is such a bad habit of mine.
sprouting nonsense which i cant otherwise take back.
but alas, e damage is already done.
and cant undo e disappointment which i've brought upon.


help! leng is singing hokkien songs n prancing ard as if she's in those scenic obiangdated music videos. help!

new template.


sinfully savouring bloody cockles, and ooh, durian that arent that fleshy but nonetheless melts in my mouth.
suppering is a sin.
my 3yr old levis arent supposed to feel this tight!
soon e hipsters will be a size 27 waister.

one wk hols starting frm now.
*ecstasy.
sinking into delirium n falling into deep sleep.
plant a kiss on thy lips n i shalt wake.
cos thou art e reason thy hours are beautiful.

my favoritest girls in e world!

when we laugh or we cry, it's together.
through e rain and e stormiest weather.
we're gonna still be as one
it's forever. .

i love my vannie n leng!
as my sillyboy has envisioned us to be thirty yrs down e road, we're still gonna be having regular bitching sessions and highteas, mahjong parties n shopping sprees. and as a result, e housework will be left undone, dinner wont be cooked, children running all over e place, totally neglecting our partners.
i can so see us growing old together.
and that's what we will do.
iloveyou.
you girls mean e world to me.
oh yes even if vannie makes me walk with her frm lau pa sat to esplanade.
and even if leng forces us to be cordial to her xiaobai.
i'm nothing without you.
*much love.

hopelessly addicted to nelly feat jaheim's-my place.
it's like so totally orgasmic.
i sink deep into e song.
and elevates me to an incredible high all e time.
lyrics so sleazy yet tune so smooth,
i melt, mesmerised.

really am melting.
weather's too hot, forcing me to strip bare to nothingness.

pictures taken over e weekend while slogging over e logistics project at huey's hse.
was triggerpleasing snapping pictures of meself.
kinda abstract dont you think?
selfobsession is indeed therapeutic.
go try.

thought of an awesome club name while writing notes for my marketing mgmt.
lvlounge.
pronounced as level lounge.
very winebar. jazz.ambient. lush sofaseats. deepred. sensous. cocktail. ontherocks. beautifulpeople. gucci. dior. upmarket. highend. gorgeous. socialise. socialite. me.
and e danceywancey club wld be called:
lure.
as in pure.
my sillyboy says he'll name his club e-house.
dang.sounds really inviting eh.

mel! remember how we used to talk abt setting up our own club during guides?and who wld be in charge of whichever department n e overall running of e club yadayada? such pleasant memoirs of those times in e den, our den as qm. i miss those times. innocence n purejoy.

vannie, leng! cant wait to meet up tmr! finally we can recommence our bitching sessions. mouth's itchin. hands're itchin to play mahjong too. and e heart's itchin to see you two. *mushywush.

till tmr.ta.

i can hardly wait to hold you
feel my arms ard you
how long i have waited
waited just to love you
now that i have found you..
i'll see you on thurs.:)

my heart is filled with so much joy, i can only glow with delight.

i desperately need a tan.
vannie,leng do you hear me?!lets go really soon k.lets frolick under e sun once n again n have skinonskin contact with e sands.exfoliate me baby! i feel like a tofu now really.in every sense of e word.white n jiggly n soyeah(soya..gedditgeddit?), grosse.

shopping at chinatown this noon was great!all thanks to my vannie who shared with me her cheap acquisition at cowcarwater.absolutely love my rattan bags man.cant wait to beautify them with my signature prettily fake flowers in every color of e rainbow.pwetty.
tsk.and to know that I(yes me,ME,ME) was e one who started this trend in sch way way back last yr.my style.MINE.
next up>>army market.
but arghhh how i wish i cld squeeze time out frm my unmoisturized but nonetheless smooth hands.
oh but wait..last day of work will be this coming sunday.soon i'll have tons of time for disposal.can finally get to spent good quality time with my sillybilly and all my lurbalurbas.it's a bittersweet departure really.e only peeves of it all were e loooooooooong hrs(10hrs.it's that long), e boredom, buying female, her world, 8days, elle every mth(!!!) to entertain meself, piling on weight snacking non stop in order to kill time.and bangbang i've shot up to 50kg.but other than that, working with clothes, dressing e mannequins up in e always-in-vogue-joon's-couture-style n tapping on my hidden fashionistic instincts were pleasantly pleasant.
next up>>prolly venturing into e cosmetic line soon.e power of strings pulling.e power of having power.i lust for power.i want it mine!

on a more sombre note altogether,
recently a friend of mine passed on.though i wasnt close to him in any way, his tragic death in a road accident really struck a chord in me.gone so sudden.didnt even get to say farewell to those who loved him n whom he loved.
i would like to bring this across: when i do pass on one fine day, i would like my eulogy to be such whereby all e countless silly, lame, funny/unfunny things i've said n done to be shared to one n all, to mark my closure.to know that i've touched each n everyone of you in any way, n that i've made you laugh n smile even for just once in my life, i depart with a smile on my face.love you all.i may not have deserved em, but i do cherish n appreciate em e best way i can.

loving you is easy cos you're beautiful.
yes, all of you.

major malfunctioning.
e fucking left eyelid's been twitching non stop.
and that's supposed to be ultra bad luck.
checked with oldwivestales.com and they confirmed my fears.
it's bad.

fuck it.

no thanks to you for making me feel worse.
you know what?
i've got others who're more than eager to have me ard.
once and again,
you give me every reason not to feel e guilt.
do a cleaner job next time yeah.
make sure i cant find anything to your disadvantage.
and dont leave behind evidences of your wrongdoings.
make sure i don't find out.
but i did.
you know,
it'd have been much much better if i hadn't found out anything at all, thank you very much.
i'm feeling sick rite now
and i know just who to find to make me feel better.
you made me do this.
you make me sick.
sicker than before.
sicker than i've ever been.
sickening shit.

i'll bring you on a guilt trip.
starting frm rite now.
enjoy e ride.

i'm high maintenance and uneasy to satisfy.
i expect n demand too much and nothing is ever good enough for me.
i'm selfish when my perception of myself all along was selflessness.
i thought i've been endlessly giving when all i've done was shameless reception.
i compare too much without realising tt e value in you is far beyond any comparison.
i'm far frm perfect even as i think i'm millimetres away frm perfection.
i'm petty despite my graciousness.
i pick on your faults in order to divert attention away frm mine.
i overestimate my credentials.
and as you continue being with me,
knowing me on a much deeper level,
peeling off e layers of pretenses n feigned perfections that are losing its worth,
what you may discover is hideous.
and that really is who i am.
a bestial bitch that reeks of poison n bites too much.
an unsightly ugliness.

pls back out frm this union before further deformation takes place.
before it's too late.
you have every reason not to be with me.
i failed to realise e good intent in all tt you did.
was blind to your needs as all that was in view was mine.
i do not blame you if you were to ever regret this.
you probably deserve better.
i do not deserve your tolerance and patience.
do not put up with me any longer
because i am a waste of time.

this is what you get for knowing me too well.

before=long hair (ooh i so love this dior watch..*lusting..)


after=short hair

e new hairdo.so different frm my before isnt it?!snipped to destruction at klear cuts.not meant as publicity but more like a note of caution.go forth at your own risk.you've been warned!
e hair only looked like that once and only lasted for a few minutes.my hairdresser lied to me.shant call her a bitch cos she didnt do anything bad to me.ruined my hair only mah it's ok one.yeah she lied cos when i asked her whether it wld be diffy to style n maintain,she said'oh very easy'.easy my plasmatic ass ah.it took me an average of 1hr minimum to style e hair of mine.it's just so layered n stubborn,i flare at my reflection."who is that monster i see..staring strt back at me..why does my reflection show someone i am not..?!"i pang for my long hair.come back to me *sobsobsob or rather grow faster!boohoo.now wax is my new bestie.it salvaged me frm looking like shyte.i've been using so much wax to style e hair,you can burn me like a candle.but all's fine now,i guess.torturous damage n demonic turmoil of e mind n esp e hair are temporarily halted as i've rediscovered e usefulness of hairpins.so now everything's pinned up n tied in a perk lil bunnytail(bun+ponytail).so much for spending 36bucks for my desire to chg my look.well i'm pretty pleased with my long bangs though.they're kinda cute.my brother says i look like a doll.haha chucky's wife has resurrected hiakhiakhiak!

i feel like such a housewife now.except tt i'm not doing any housework,am alone in his hse n awaiting his return.he picked me up frm sch after 12.watched designer guys n days of our lives n he left for sch soon after.rite before he left i said this:
me:"darling you shd leave for sch now."
him:"yeah ok."
me(adjusting his shirt):"drive safe.be back for dinner.remember to pick e kids up frm sch yeah."
*hurhurhur.me n my wacked up role playing.
his room is a friggin walk in freezer.freezing my white mng pants off in here!maybe tt's cos i'm decked in all white today(i'm livin' it up to my surname),with my two dollar fifty cents pashmina white shawl(!) drapped over e shoulders tt are losing its tan.brrr.

annoyed!e ugly picture of an indian woman tt my sweetest shit of a darling posted on my friendster as a primary pic refuses to be deleted!it's haunting me!and by e way it isnt funny at all in case you're roaring with laughter rite now.go catch a glimpse of it if you still have a chance to.to counter attack my baby's childish prank,i forced him to put a picture of a fat indian man as his primary pic so more wld recognise us as a couple.*hiakhiakhiak.now tt's funny.

ooh lets run a poll here.
puke out your comments regarding e hair.
lets see whos for e before or e after of e sad snip.
*enjoy.ta.

amazing race last nite was intensely exhilerating!but it aint tt fun anymore cos my amazing race 'partner' isnt ard with me to lay bets n to discuss e game politics with.and of cos,hopping on e imaginary carpet at whichever destination n imagining e host whose-name-i-forgot saying, "shane n june.you're e first team to arrive".amazing race aint e same anymore.sigh.*missmiss.

newest obsession:e obsene amt of weight tt i've been putting on.
and physical perfection.
superficialities satisfies.
my fatboy poked e tummy of mine n said:'darling you really did put on weight.'
yeah uh.thats what i get for being with a plus sized darling who feeds me tons!and i always look small n petitey next to him.i'll never really know how much weight i've put on till e tummy pops.

i've cut my 1mth-short-of-a-yr-long hair already.sorry to cillia,elaine n elise whom i've sorta arranged to go cut hair with.but i just couldnt stand e hair anymore and i just had to snip it all off!well not all but most of it.e long hair is gone.gone.GONE.GONE!it's a totally different look altogther n i'm trying really hard to get used to e monster-with-shorthair-and-shortfringe in e mirror.e new 'do aint tt bad.it's different.i look different.i kinda miss e long hair now.e steamingly sexy,just-outta-e-bed look.damnation.it's a love/hate relationship with e hair.e only joy i derive frm haircuts are e head n neck massages i get frm e shampooers.today i had a shampoo boy.and i can say he's pretty good with his hands.*hiakhiakhiak.

new haircut.new beginning.begin what?what's to end?
it's been 2yrs since that.

fuck it.
e DIY dye job turned out damn fucking bad.
fuck.

hiatus.

i'm sure i'm deeply missed.
*hiakhiakhiak

woke up at 0459hrs with a bleeding nose.thought it was e case of a sensitive nose again n thought i felt mucus but no..blood rushed out frm e right nostril so profusely i almost fainted at e sight of e amt of blood i lost.and ive got low blood pressure too.feeling faint is such a norm for me.didnt stop till much much later.mom's getting panicky over this.ssh.shall not tell her tt e nose bled again this morning or she'll so freak out.

went out with gayle on sat.my ever so darling gaga.she's such a hottie!*hothothot.havent met n spoken to gayle for e longest time.and during her absence ive always had recurring dreams of her.and she's been having dreams of me too!shows how much we missed each other's silly company.it feels really good to go out with her again n have so much fun n laughters just like those days in cj.we basically laughed e entire day at e stupidest things.ate so much e whole damn day cos gayle's such a bottomless pit.oh yeah beef noodles to her was just a snack.eeck!went for drinks at the bar@mezza9.oh boy such a lovely place.i cld totally picture myself going there more often.for a taitai like me.aircon was blasting.cld have well been at negative celcius but beer kept us warm.i wld so wanna eat at mezza9..soonsoon.slurps.salivating at e thought of e yummy crabs tt they serve.
went for e mango sale as well n i'm so glad i've gotten good buys despite e maddening crowd.bought nice black capris pants,lime green halter n a simple black sleeveless top n all i spent was 44bucks.cheapcheapcheap.hehe adding on to e recent acquisitons,ie,e guess bag tt my sweetest bought for me(which i absolutely adore to e core),my white mango pants n pink zara top which he kindly sponsored too.yesyes ive finally broken out frm my black/white wardrobe.wheee with glee.back to gayle.oh yes.i'm so proud of her for making thru e 1st two rounds for e SIA interview.i can so picture my gayle in an ohsosexy skin-hugging kebaya.ohh sizzling hot!am crossing my fingers for her for e final round.really happy tt things are looking so gloriously fine for her.living e high life tt i so desire n lust after,ie,doing runways n shows for e chichi brands such as chanel,lancome,blahblah..so glam!i'm truly happy for my gayle.she deserves her happiness tt she's enjoying now.

all i need to get before sch starts is a new sch bag n legal slippers.meaning..with heel straps.i'm jealous tt van has already bought her samba-adidas already!i also want!sch's starting next mon.frm then on leng will constantly be in my presence once again.yay cant wait!another reason for me to go to sch for.lengleng we must go shop for bags soon!and oh yeah before i forget..dye hair together.fix a date soon for me!

latest obsession:e filth of wealth
i crave for all e malevolent pleasures tt e dirt of riches can bring.
such decadent happiness.
i'm materialistic
i'm realistic
i'm plastic
i'm s'porean.
see e link?

woke up this morning at 0934hrs by a phonecall frm him.
me with grosse morning croak:"hello..."
him:"are you sleeping?"
me"mmm..."
him:"just called to say i love you."

what a pleasant start to a beautiful day.
e past wk has been frustrating for both
but we're happy now.
and that's all that matters.

this will come a day early but
happy birthday to my beloved lovelovelove of my life alvina chang!
i love my alvi so so so much that i find it hard to explain e intensity of how much i love n cherish this beautiful frienship i have with this beautiful girl.
hey sweetest,hope u'll enjoy your special day.such a pity that you wont be coming bk to spore in july cos i'm just dying to see you.to spend time with you.to have supper with you at imans.swim n suntan at e ulu-ated serangoon swimming complex.to bitch with you in person.to feel your hugs again.to see your pouts(e nobody-loves-me-pout that i've now mastered with perfection) n hear your whines.i dont even mind e second hand smoke that i inhale.you're an absolute darling.always giving me sound advices,you taught me not to be so self absorbed with my side of e story but to understand e other's pt of view.and that if we do something bad,we'll have retributions.you cry with me when i cry.laugh when i laugh.scold me when i'm bad.praise me when i'm good.i want to grow old with you..and this friendship to last as long as we live.i want to zoom ard town in your black audiA4 n you to be my passenger in my lexusSC430.to experience childbirth n menopauses together and moan groan over greying hairs n disobedient husbands n children.this is getting farfetched but you get e drift.
*you make me a better person.and a better friend to love you with.iloveyou.with all my heart n all of me.

i'm hungry.craving for durian,bubble tea,yoshinoya's beef bowl,oreo cheesecake,chompchomp's stingray(which is simply orgasmic!),durian,my century egg n sliced fish porridge frm crystal jade,xiao long bao(!!!) frm anywhere as long there's soupy surprise.i need food..just tried twisties's new flavour-thai tom yam n it sucks.don't try it.

i'm really not fated to watch shrek2 e legal way i suppose.sillybaby n i really wanted to watch this since how long ago but nv had e time to.used starhub's info services to find out e movie listings n it stated tt shrek2 wld be showin at 1715,1925,2145 n 0000hrs at bishan's golden village today.and it was only when i reached there requesting for shrek2's tix n e guy asked u mean for tmr's show?i was like what e fcuk!he showed me e proper listings n shrek2 was only shown at 1030 n 1300hrs today.ok shall resort to watchin it e illegal way then.bah.

advice:never disregard your dreams.they are significant.backtrack n rewind:i dreamt tt sillybaby n i were gettin married on 8th june.dream analysis stated to dream of a marriage=an end in something.true enough.we had another misunderstanding on 8th june.damn this date.i walked out on him.walked outta his hse.all cos of a comment he said which he meant as a joke but i apparently didnt receive it tt way.and instead of holdin me bk n assuring me it was a joke,he opened e door for me n ushered me out.so he wasnt feelin well n needed time alone but hello..i cancelled my plans for him just cos he wanted to see me.so we almost broke up.again.once again my feelings werent considered.but no worries.i've had a distraction as a backup.not like i enjoyed myself with distraction either.but at least i didnt have time to dwell in my misery.felt better when he called to check on me.bah.
i'm fine without you too.
not tt fine but fine enough.
but i still need you.and want you.and love you.
and you're mine.
mine alone.
noone else's.

i'm angry!*curses n swears.tt bitchslut msged him on friendster tellin him tt she dreamt of him.arghhh like we're so fcuking interested.and it's not e first time tt she's doing this!!how i wish she was tt cockroach..and i cld smash her into pieces.really.tts what i wanna do to her.smash smash smash with all my might n spray tons of pesticide on tt bitchslut till disfiguration cant carry on any further.BE GONE with bygone!

*birthday pics are up.

at huey's hse studying for stats supps.blech.e mood just aint here.concentation's low but i absolutely mustmustmust buck e fcuk up.just had a screaming n shrieks rampage a while ago.over e ugliest cockroach ever!who was out deliberately to scare e wits outta me.got me so incredibly frightened that i flew rite onto huey's table n shrieked n screamed till my throat ran sore.how scared was i?i shivered at e sight of tt fcuking ugly thing that shouldnt even be allowed of its existence.thank goodness it was smashed to eventual slow n painful death.it was well deserved.burn in hell cockroach!have a roastin gd time.bah.

thanks to all who sent me their birthday wishes.to receive wishes frm e near n dear makes me feel more loved than ever.and to hear frm e far but not forgotten gives me deeper delights knowing tt they still remember my birthday.

and of cos,huge thanks n greatest love going out to those who celebrated my birthday with me.*muahmuahmuah.
cillia,elise n van on wed @zouk.
girls' night out is always e bestest.though a leech creeped along n almost threatened to spoil e fun n my mood n didnt realise he's sticky icky.cillia,we know who.*winks.lets just forgive n forget.afterall leech is a friend of mine.

susan,huey,colin n eileen on thurs.
e bestest bestest surprise i ever had.i absolutely lovelovelove surprises!1st surprise:susan rented a car..for my birthday!gosh tt's like how exciting.my 1st female driver friend.oohwee.so she drove by,fulfilling her promise for making me her first passenger.was supposed to only go for a spin but to my absolute horror, we drove to town cos i had to pop by my shop.so i went to town in *gasps*:IJ Fiesta 98 tshirt, cjc PE shorts, my adidas cap n *heavyheavy gasps* my nerdy glasses!yikes!tts like sooo incredibly ugly to e maxmaxmax!yuckyuckyuck.my ugliest ever.zero makeup too.yucks!thank gawd i didnt see anyone familiar.not tt i cld..had my eyes on e grd most of e time.went hm to chg n 2nd surprise came:tt huey came bk to spore just in time to celebrate my birthday with me.dinner was at e mouth kitchen at west mall.drove ard to nowhere after dinner n went to esplanade.just in time for 3rd surprise..a birthday cake for me at e stroke of midnight.awww.so shweet.decided to buy drinks after tt but heyho 7-11 doesnt sell alcohol after 1am so we bought beer at amk's s-11.(i've got beer belly now..joon has a tummy.)drove to bishan park and tt was where i learnt how to drive n I DROVE!for e 1st time.and it was damn exciting n stressful at e same time.i was a bundle of nerves behind e wheel!fastest i went was only 30km/h n i kept braking hard so everyone enjoyed hard jerks of e car,all thanks to me.also learnt how to reverse n basically e basics.i think i'd prefer to be a perpetual passenger for now..n make any car look gd.

tricia,darryl(my niece n nephew),huey n susan-fri noon
sillybaby-fri n sat
so happy to see e 2 cuties.tricia n darryl i mean.:)susan drove by n we went to macs for brunch.with e kids.each n every time i'm with them,my maternal instinct oozes out frm every pore.i so wanna have children next time.1 boy n 1 girl n tt's enough.after brunch n after e kids had their ice-cream,we dropped them off at my place n drove to geylang for yummy durian.yum!went bk hm to play playstation with darryl n tricia,fed them dinner,bathed them(i'm so ready to be a mom!) n met my sillybaby for dinner.had dinner at swensens.headed bk to his place cos he was damn tired.ended up having a bitching session with him n his sister.hiakhiakhiak bitching abt his exs..sensual treats for my ears.such pleasures tt i absolutely lovelovelove n lustlustlust after.am so easily satisfied.i want more i want more!
sillybaby is a selfish sleeper.

each time u ask me why i chose u over e rest
why iloveu
i'll choke on my reply
simply because i cant seem to point out a particular reason to explain e intensity of e feelings tt i have for u.
a fluttering social butterfly u are not-which is why i'm so comfortable with u.
a security n stability i seek in u which i somehow cant provide.
or is it because
u've seen me at my ugliest
both inside n out
and still accept me for me.
maybe u know me too well
better than i know myself
more than what i chose to reveal.
naked n exposed.
and u cld still accept me for me
...
in e end
i coughed out something stupid.
so incredibly stupid
...
shall just keep my mouth shut e next time ard.
shut u up with kisses.
and have a pillow fight.
i will win e next time round.

i get so weak in the knees
i can hardly speak
i lose all control
and something takes over me.

last nite,i dreamt tt sillybaby n i were gonna get married.on e 8th of june to be very exact.that's like 12 days frm now, 4 days frm my birthday.there was no knee on grd proposal or anything.sure didnt remember seeing any kringkring diamond being put on my ring finger.all e dream consisted was us preparing for e upcoming wedding reception.leng n vannie played cameos.cant remember what they were doing.anyway i kept asking him in e dream why were we getting married so early when we both have no money.he said we shd get married soon on e 8th of june cos it's in e pink of june.exact words frm him in e dream.as in e pink of health?shrugs man no idea what tt meant.remembered having lotsa doubts abt us getting married so soon but he wldnt take no for an answer.also remember wearing a white satin bustier gown while preparing for e reception.my fat boy was alot slimmer in e dream.oh yes n we were happily kissing while discussing abt plans for e reception with someone.damn strange.

intepretation frm dreammoods:
Wedding
To see a wedding in your dream, symbolizes a new beginning or transition. Dreams involving weddings are generally negative and highlight some anxiety or fear. It often refers to feelings of bitterness, sorrow, or death. Alternatively, wedding dreams reflect your issues about commitment and independence.

Kiss
To dream of a kiss,denotes love,affection,tranquility,harmony,and contentment.

woke up thking maybe this dream of us getting married,e beginning of life spent together as one,is foreshadowing a plausible end to e rship.tt perhaps it'll end on 8th of june,e supposed date of marriage in e dream.talked to him abt it just now n we were laughing abt it.somehow i've got a bad feeling abt this.shit.wish i didnt remember e vivid details of e dream cos now it has def got me thking way too much.am negative now.oh well it's all just a silly dream eh.havent seen him for 3days tt's why.sillybaby had a dream last nite too.of his friend jonathan n a giant tarantular and oh yes,he also dreamt of his ex girlfriend/e one i hate e most(!!!)/e one i detest so much(!!!)/e bitchslut-ihateher.*curses.yeah tt one.*curses.shant mention e name cos i hate e sound of it.he dreamt tt she said hi to him n cldnt remember anything else.rite.so i dreamt of a marriage n he dreamt of tt creature?!?!how pleasantly nice!and tt got me so worked up but once n again he got so amused by my pettiness n how worked up i was.petty meh?i just dont like it.and it's as if she'll always be an element of his past tt'll continue to haunt.i'm hating it.sillybaby has alot of reassuring to do.

sniffles.caught a cold again.i wish i cld chop off e damn nose now!grrrr.damn annoying.
my sweetest sillybaby bought me supper frm chomps last nite.he knew i was starving so he bought me charkuayteow n extra packet of taugay n cockles n brought e foodie to my hse.super yummy.aha n later at nite over e fone he told me that was my bday present.rite.my boyfriend's got a weird sense of humour eh.just like me.hiakhiakhiak.
not gonna be seeing my sillybaby much anymore cos he's a busy busy boy now.so i shall be a busy busy girl too so i wont have to miss him much.

ten more days to my birthday,in case you're wondering.
a very casual reminder to all.

update at 9.26pm:
miracle!after talkin to alvi on e phone,my nose has stopped running!completely stopped.no more sick june anymore.yippee!alvi is my remedy.alvi always makes me feel better.alvi makes june a happy girl.june loves talkin to her alvi.alvi is my baby and i is loving alvi very much.lovelovelove.all for you,alvi.:)
and also,thks to my susan for providing me with tons of tissues.and also torturing me while i'm at your hse.

fourth of june is a very special day.

ewww.blogger has chged its layout n it's how grosse n childish.for a moment i thought i went to nickolodeon.com instead.

lookback at e wk's happenings.

tues.
went shoppin with little flower n susan before e flower returned to msia.so many things i wanna buy but no money!listen up.my birthday's in 2weeks so everybody better start saving up.went sim lim sq with e-darling-of-mine n watched van helsing afterwards.not bad a show tho my baby n i got kinda bored n distracted but nonetheless it was not bad.pleasant day.full of smiles.am happy to be with him.:).smiles some more.:)

wed.
pukes-a-plenty at zouk.
gosh.for e first damn time i drank so excessively much that i puked all over a place.not that i can recall where i puked.zouk was damn packed.contemplated on not entering when i saw e snake long queues.oh well but it's been a looooong time since i clubbed with my lovelies:van,cillia,elaine n elise.consumptions for e nite:hot n sticky-one n half glasses.2 jugs of whisky cokes btw us.a bottle of e33 to elevate e high.and more fast n furious sips of long island for e insanely subconsious.my goodness.cant really recall much of e nite except everyone was highhighhigh.skyhigh till we puked to low grds.and saw certain somebody whom i dont have a liking for anymore aft tt nite.oh yes another thing i can recall is an unbelievably nice stranger who sent me hm.
to mr dan(hope i got e name rite)..dont thk u'll be seeing this but gosh you are such a weirdo.i hardly know you but you sent me home.to my doorstep even.and wasted your time at my carpark while i puked n ranted at you for sending me hm.are you insane?why,you paid for my cab fare, patted my back while i puked, make sure i got hm safe..boy are you strange.oh well i shall take heed Channel NewsAsia's Pay It Forward movement.you did such a good deed of sending me hm n taking care of me whilst i was not stable n conscious n mental,and put up with my scoldings which you didnt deserve.you are a good citizen.i shall pay e good deed forward.thanks once again.

thurs.
wasnt walking strt when i woke up.horrible hangover.horrible feeling.looked horrid too.blech.had lunch with my beloveds leng n van at leng's hse.dinner at bukit timah's boon tong kee with elaine n van.grrr.took e wrong bus hm n ended up at bloody boon lay without a single cent!took cab hm in e end which was how expensive.heart very pain.

fri.
finally had my tanning done with a someone whose identity i shalt not disclose.you know who you are.:).glad you shared your life with me.i hope for e best that's yet to come.love ya.:)
met him later in e evening.had another disagreement yet again.and that got me thinking alot once again.as a chinese saying goes."talkin abt money hurts e feelings ah."
well it's not like i expect you to pay for me all e time.i do offer too just that you've conveniently forgotten.and i do not always rely on your car.i've travelled to your place on my own many times before you had your car.our differences are so evidently strong.and i really hope we can put them aside n work on us instead.i want this to work out.really do.but i know some day this will end cos everything in this world has an expiry date.
i shouldn't be having doubts but i am.
thinkin that perhaps
i really am a material girl livin in a material world.
which girl doesn't love to be pampered?
but i'm not expecting anything frm you at all.
your love is much desired than all e riches n diors/guccis that i can lay my hands on.
i want you
and i already have.

i don't know what else i shd expect n want anymore, knowing perfectly well that expectations end up in a poof of disappointments.
don't understand what i'm saying?
i don't either.